Revelation and yet frustrated

Last Week it was really an awesome week. Finally get to attend service with N450 after a long long long long time! hhaa

Anyway, it was our vision weekend and Pst shared alot of good news within the church. At the same time, i received a revelation!

As we were singing this song,

This is my desire, to honour You
Lord with all my heart I worship You
all I have within me
I give You praise
all that I adore is in You

Lord I give You my heart
I give You my soul
I live for You alone
Every breath that I take
Every moment I'm awake
Lord have Your way in me

I was thinking, God if i give you, then can i still take back? Can i still do things my way with the items? (Heart and soul la)

Then i realized, what is given out, is already doesnt belongs to you. So when we give God our life, we cant take it back and say God, i dont want to do it anymore. I want to give up our walk. Cos our life technically no longer belongs to us but to Him.

This couple of weeks was really a test of my love for God. In the area of ministries. In the area of life and many more.

Many times i really get so fed up with things, i want to give up and say God, i dont want it anymore. Times where i really want to throw in the towel and drop all that i have. But God never gave up on me or say, Nat, i give you up. But He remains faithful while i am faithless.

Though now, i am still equally frustrated (man are not perfect!!) with the things, with the expectations and yet limited resources. In fact i am VERY, but i shall try to trust for breakthrough. With man all things are impossible. But with God, all things are Possible.