Mum's Passing

 5 Jan 2025 / 6 Jan 25

A day that possibly will stay in my memory for a very long while. 

Sunday, a normal and uneventful day, as we go about busy with the kids' schedule. That afternoon, we went to Boon Lay to pack the place as my mum shared that there were things to be done. She could not do it, as she was warded in the hospital. As much as we were very unwilling, we went down. I will always thank God that regardless of my unwillingness, at least I was there. 

After keeping the house, we proceeded to SGH and visited my mum who was warded for a heart attack episode. We had dinner in the food court and was told that she was not allowed to be out of the ward, hence we proceeded with our dinner and went up to the ward for a short visit. 

I vividly remember that it was 8pm, when we said we wanted to go back. We bid her farewell. Never did I expect that also would be our final farewell. On the way to the carpark, we were still saying, she could argue with doctors and nurses, meaning she is still in a very good shape. So she will be able to go home soon. 

That night, at 950pm, my mum called me, informing me that she would be going for the procedure tomorrow morning, but wanted me to call the hospital to check on the exact timing. I remember rebuking her saying, you could just send me a text or drop me a call just before being wheeled away. I don't think it is appropriate for me to call just like that. With that, we hung up. 

That night seemed as usual as it can get. I proceeded to prepare for bed. I still remember, I finished showering and was putting on my eye mask heat pad, lying down and was closing my eyes. 

The phone rang, and I didn't want to get up. The hub say, its okay, let me pick that up for you. He proceeded to check who called. His 1st statement was, it's your sis. Calling you so late, something is not right. 

I checked the clock, its 11pm. Unwillingly I picked up the call and she told me, your dad called me to tell me your mum passed away. Can you go and verify? At the instance, my head went what? How to verify and what nonsense are you saying? My sister shared that she would be heading down to the hospital to check now. My first instinct was to verify that news and think it was a joke that they were pulling. So I called my mum. No one came to the phone. For once, I was hoping someone on the other line to pick up and scold saying, so late already what do you want. At this point, I could feel numbness in my heart. My heart went very cold. My stomach was churning for some reason.

The line was not picked. Right after that, a foreign number called me. My heart went cold. I answered and was told that the call was from the hospital. My mum is now currently in resuscitation and no pulse could be detected. My stomach and my heart went even colder. I have never experienced such a feeling before. Quickly, I called my sis asking if she had arranged anything and how is dad heading down. Her reply was, I didn't do anything, you call him. So I called and I asked my dad where is he and I ordered a grab for him. Yeoyi told me he would go and get the car while I changed. As I was getting ready, keeping calm, I remembered to get hot water in a flask and a jacket. It turns out to be useful.

As I made my way out of the house, I called all the aunties and uncle, breaking the news that she was currently in resuscitation. As we made our way down, my hands were cold, and my heart was numbed. I don't know what to expect. A part of me was hoping that she could revived, a part of me, that realistic part felt that she could not be resuscitated. I don't know what feeling am I supposed to be feeling. Lost and shocked. Knowing that if that is the truth, I can only be brave and carry on. I need to go on. 

We reached the hospital. Clara told me, she is gone. Doctor said they tried their best. So we can only go up when everyone arrived. I was too rational. Time checked: 12am. 

Carol ah yi, Susan Ahyi and Ah ku all arrived. We went up. We saw the body, so cold. The doctor came and he shared that they tried their best. They told us what happened. She fainted at her bedside and immediately the nurses and doctors attended to her, but they performed CPR on her for the past 40 - 50 mins and no heartbeat returned. The doctors had no choice but to certify her passing.

All of us could not accept that fact, we all just had conversations with her not too long ago. She collapsed shortly after she hung up. At this stage, my heart was just so numbed. 

We stood at her bedside. Looking at the cold and stiff body. No words could be uttered. Tears could not roll. Were there regrets? Yes, regret that I didn't let the kids visited Grandma. Regret that on the last call, I could have shown more kindness. 

This was a police case as it was an unnatural death as she fell at the bedside. We had to wait for the police to come and take our statement and after that have another IO to come by and ensure no foul play in her death. Time was ticking so slowly, I didn't know how to pass each minute. But we just kept ourselves occupied. We make a booking to stay in the Holiday Inn Atrium so that we are very near to the hospital. As we were waiting, I remember holding a quick discussion among the 4 of us, sharing that we each will have to come out with 10k first to conduct the funeral. But it's pulling a figure from the sky because we don't know the details. We agreed. Time check: it was 3.15am when the IO allowed us to go back and send the body to the mortuary. 

We left the hospital at about 330am, and went to the hotel to catch some rest. By the time we lay down, it was already 430am. I closed my eyes, I could not sleep. In my head was the replaying of the news, the body and all that happened in a short span of 4 hours. Drifting in and out of some form of rest. I woke up, its 6 something in the morning. I drafted a message to her friends and some relatives informing of her death. I could not sleep despite knowing that the week ahead will be long and tough. 715am, Ah Ku and Jie jie called me. Wanting to confirm some details and the arrangement of the funeral. I am up and then showered. We went for breakfast at 830am. All of us just didn't have much appetite. The only thing that fueled us, was coffee. 

915am, when we were done, there were still no calls from the hospital. We proceeded upstairs again to wait and discussed what was next for us. The call came at 1010am, informing us that the body was ready for claim. So very quickly we rushed down to the hospital and met up with Ah Ku and Jie Jie together with the Funeral Director. He told us that he needed clothes and some other items to embalm the body, so we split into 2 teams, with Fabian driving Clara and my dad back to Boon Lay to pick up the things, I stayed behind and waited for the body. Yeo Yi proceeded home to help me collect some daily items. 

We put in all the applications, all the arrangements that we need and sat there waiting. As Ah ku was sharing how sudden it is, how he also could not come to terms with it, tears rolled down. As we were waiting, there were many decisions to be made. What type of rites, what colour of the coffin and the time of cremation, we have to make a decision. As I was there making sense of all things and the decisions, I wondered, when a person passes on, then we do for them what they like, is there any meaning? But at least, for us, it does. 

Time was ticking away, at close to 1pm, finally, my mum's name was called. Her body was ready for collection. 

We went in, I could not imagine, seeing her in a black body bag. Not quite mentally prepared. Tears fell, but my heart was still very numbed, yet at the same time, trying to make full sense of everything. Our lives changed forever from this very moment on. 

We handed the body to the undertaker for embalming and all the necessary work. Time check, it was 1pm when we left the mortuary. We took Fabian's car and headed back to Boon lay to clear her stuff, and prep the things that we needed to put into the coffin. As we sat in the car, all of us had nothing to say, I ordered lunch as I knew we didn't have appetite. Eating was just solely to keep all of us going. 

120pm, the people had finished setting up the wake and needed me to go and sign off. I went and sign off all the items, and went back up to continue with whatever was needed. Time seems to pause yet was suggesting that its passing so fast. 

Ah yi and all arrived at 2pm. Ah yi shared with us on her CPF matters and all the money matters. Quite honestly, we could not process the information. Its just information at that moment. We cleared out a lot of things for her. We send it down. The kids arrived at 3pm. Not quite understanding what was going on. At almost 4pm, the body arrived for encoffin. We went down. We participated. By the time the encoffin was done, it was close to 530pm. The ritual people were telling us, what we needed to do and what we had to prepare over the next few days. My brain was trying to register. I remember asking Gerald and Fabian to help to go and buy dinner. 20 packets. Nellie quietly sat at the side and burned the joss paper. For hours, she was there doing that simple act. 

That night, people started coming down. I remember Pastor Jimmy, Wei Liang, Joanne, Suraj, Fei Fei, Lynus, Renjie, Shan, Renyang, Megan. They came. 

As I was sitting there, my mind was all about running the 'event'. Ordering drinks because the drinks provided are just too expensive, getting the necessary things that will be needed the next 2 days. 

At 830pm, Clara and Fabian went home to pick up things and shower while I stayed behind. After which they went to check in to the hotel and rested. By the time they checked in was already close to 1030pm. So I told them to rest and come and take over about 330am. Till now, I cannot recall at which stage did I ask Fabian to help check and book the hotel. But I am glad, I did. 

7 Jan 25

330am, Clara came, and I left at about 345am. We dropped Suraj off at somewhere. 

The moment I reached the hotel, I was too tired. I closed my eyes and knocked out for a good 2 odd hours, and not long later, I woke up. I checked the time, its 630am. 

I laid on the bed for a while, scrolling through all the messages and replied. I got up, and could sleep no more. I showered and went out. I know I had a lot of places to go, and so I went to Town Council who required me to sign off some documents. As the time was early, it was barely 9am when I was done, I went to Sheng Siong as well as SKP and got some nuts and disposables for night use. I was back at the wake at 1030am. 

We wandered here and there, set up the tentage and all, and when it was close to lunch time, In order to get my dad some breather, I drove him to the nearby coffeeshop to buy lunch for all. By the time I was back, it was maybe 12pm?? We came back with many packets of lunch, kim zhua and some what nots. 

Wan Lin came. We chatted awhile, she used her lunch hour to come by. Very appreciative of her. 

That afternoon, was a quiet and uneventful afternoon. But night time was buzzing with people. Susan, Emily and Samuel came, many others also were there. I remembered, Iris, Jianxiong, Praise, Nicole Ye, Daniel Chu, Ariel, Sherlin, Tony, Sharon, Wilson Mak, KL, Karen, CQ, Kwang, Jocelyn, May, Alex, Joanne, Kevin Wong and Kevin Shen. Even people like Weng & Pei Yu also came! People like John Lam, and his mum also came. 

I saw many many people. My heart was so full, so humbled and so honored. My heart was just so touched. 

That night, Joycelyn came with supper for us. We were so hungry. We slurp down everything. We booked 2 rooms for that night because the following morning, we are going to see the niche and purchase. 

8 Jan 25 

This was once again, a decision that changed our lives forever. We booked 4 niches. Ah yi would want to be with her siblings, all of them to be placed together. A very strong bond. 

When we were done, we headed out for lunch, and again, went to Sheng Siong top up all the things that were needed, and we headed back to the wake. It was almost 315pm when we arrived back. People came down and visited me. 

Dinner was Mcdonalds. A quiet evening that night. Not many people were there. 

That night, similarly, we had 2 rooms, and we went back to the hotel to sleep. 

9 Jan 25

Despite that early night, we slept at about 230am but I was up at 5am. I could not sleep. I drove out to Mcdonald and bought breakfast for my dad. I remember that when I was at Mcdonald, it was barely 520am. When I reached back at the wake, I asked ah yi and gerald they all to go back, so that they can rest. Tonight will be another long night. 

At 7am, Clara and Fabian came and got all of us breakfast. It's the final night. We don't know what to expect. We don't know what to look forward. There will be nothing to keep us busy anymore. 

The day passed and we started the ritual at 3pm. The rites were to last till 10pm. 7 full hours. Wow. So tired. 

That night, everything passed very quickly. We burnt the big house and all other joss items. 

We stayed overnight to guard for the final time. The hours seems so slow yet so fast. 

10 Jan 25

Before we know it, its already 7am in the morning. PJS drop by to say hi. 

By 9am, the band, the people all starting strolling in. Getting ready for the final funeral possession. 

By 10am, the weather seems to be very unforgiving. The wind was so strong, that the rain just kept pouring with no mercy. 

We could wait no further, 115pm, we had to go. The coffin was closed. 

Our hearts were all very mixed. I don't know what to expect anymore. 

We boarded the bus, and we all proceeded to Mandai for the cremation. The simple ceremony held there, the tears, and the many unspoken words.

This concluded our very long and tiring week for the wake. 

From this, we were very grateful for all the friends who took time to attend the wake, stayed with us during this very difficult period. 

We felt her departure in such a way, wasn't a bad thing for her. She left with no pain, no struggles and no worries. I always said this, such a strong-headed person, who wanted so much of her dignity, dying in such a manner actually preserved her dignity to a large extent. I think she will have no regrets.

The worries, the regrets, and the struggles are all left behind to the living. 

6th year

After attending 2 of YY's bro wedding, I can't help but to reminiscing my own wedding.

If there is any aspect that can be done better. If i would do anything differently. Will the whole event be better manager.

Looking at the 2 bros wedding, deep down, i cant help but to Thank God that He saw us through the whole planning and sent so many angels to help out in the whole wedding.

I look at so many weddings, i do envy the new designs of wedding gowns. The colours and decoration, the clearer photos taken and the trends now. But during my own, i was glad i got many different people to involve and experience it and i really enjoyed the whole process.

One area was to have my MIL involved, to have my sister involved, to have many closed friends being part of. Ask me, i really wont want it to be done in any other way.

The only regret was photos were not taken enough. Given a chance i really would want to have an individual pic with every single one. To be able to know that everyone who make the effort to attend the wedding means so much to me.

Maybe age is catching up, or because being a mother of 2, i dont get to enjoy life as the past, getting a little sentimental.

Nessa Yeo

It had been a very exciting and challenging period for us. Nessa arrived into this world for a good 13 month!

I always wondered, if i had not bring forward the appointment, would Nessa's arrival be different? Will she be sharing the same birthday as her grandpa and yiyi?

I dont know, i guess, in life there are some regrets and for me, this is one. What are the chances of having the grandfather and granddaughter sharing the same birthday? I thought that would be pretty cool!

But that's something i cannot change now.

Back to reality, she has been an awesome baby. Eating well, motor skills developed so much faster as compared to the sister. But she can be quite a hand sometimes!

I missed being around for her all day long!

Nessa Birth

Fast forwards, 9 months passed. 36 weeks flew by in a blink of an eye.

We were all in the mood for CNY still. Nessa was pretty awesome, knew that her mummy wanna enjoy the festive food first, despite the contractions that i encountered from 35 weeks onward and she was lying pretty low, we lasted till 37 weeks.

To be honest, this CNY was pretty nerve wrecking as we have that constant fear that i might go into labour at any point of time. However, it turns out Nessa loves mummy alot that she allows me to enjoy food first.

On the eve of CNY, i went for my routine checkup, and was scheduled for the next visit 1 week later. However, being 7th day of CNY, we supposed to have dinner with Hui Juan Gugu and all, i wanted to go see Doc John then followed by dinner, but the thought of having to watch Nellie alone was no fun. So i decided to push the appointment 1 day ahead.

Knowing that labour day was drawing near, i make plans to clean up punggol before delivering. But lo and behold, Doc John told me, i already dilated. It was 2cm, i could wait till following Mon. Which was the 6 of Feb. But if not for the husband travelling for work, i really would have choose to deliver that day.

The other option was to induce her out. And so, that was the decision. I was told to admit into the hospital the next day for induction. It was pretty exciting as i didnt had this with Nellie. It was the last day Nellie being the only child left, and quickly promoted to be an elder sister.

The next morning, i send Nellie to school, with the last time that she gets all the attention to herself.

The hubs and I then went for my last 'Supper' before i dont get to eat again.

Not a very fanciful breakfast, but i could not eat much either, so since this is the hubs fav food. We just settle for it.

The clinic called and ask me to go in to see Doc John before admitting into the suite. So quickly had our breakfast, drove to Clara office and passed her some APs for distribution, before heading down to Gleneagles.

Went straight into the clinic and Doc John another check, and shared that the dilation is progressing, from the mere 2cm, now is almost 3cm. Without much hesitation, we went to the hospital delivery suite and get myself warded.

After filling up the forms and getting changed, in a span of about 30mins, we saw Dr John pooping by. And very quickly, he burst my water bag and *ouchs*, a gush of water came dripping out of me.

Next i was to clear my bowels with that not so fantastic gel that went into me. *shudders*

Oh, did i mentioned that while all this procedures were done, i was in the waiting room instead of the delivery suite.

But i really would prefer Gleneagles, the nurse was so nice, so allowed me to shower and wash myself up after the water flowed. Next was to inject myself with antibiotics and whatever drip, when we were done, finally the delivery suite was available, and instead of being wheeled there, Doc asked for me to slowly walk there. And i was pretty thankful for the walk as it eased the contractions slightly. Upon reaching the suite, i chose to sit instead of lying down as lying down intensified the pain. Before long, i felt my threshold was running low, and with this time, i was determined to not use epidural, i asked for pethidine. The nurse informed that the effect will only kick in 20 mins later, and if i want epidural later, i may not have enough time. With only determination in me, i bucked up my courage and said no to epidural.

After injecting the jab, barely 10mins later, i felt so drowsy and sleepy. With the pain slightly elevated, i napped. I remembered the time i slept was about 4pm, as i wanted to watch TV.

A nagging dull pain and some chattering sound aroused me up from my sleep. I heard the husband talking on the phone and telling the nurse i slept for about over an hour. Not long after, i woke up.

I check my surrounding and the time, it was about 530pm. The nurse came in, before i know anything the pain took over me, and my mind just went blank for awhile. I remembered asking for some ice, to distract myself from the contractions. And the nurse warned that i better not push as i might lacerate myself if i had not dilate fully. She quickly put me down as the pain was so bad and the urge to push was so strong i sat up, she checked my dilation. She mentioned that i was only somewhere 7 to 8cm dilated, so i am not to push. Now come to think of it, i probably was close to 10cm dilated.

She informed that Doc John is on the way and would probably need another 10 mins or so before he arrived. And prior to his arrival, i am not to push but to bear with the pain. I wanted to scold, but nothing could come out of my mouth. Time check 5.40pm.

Dr John came running in and getting dressed while i was told to lie down. He gave the green light that i can start pushing, he then started to wash me and i heard a snip. But the pain was so unbearable, i couldnt feel what he had done. I started pushing, and just kept pushing. The hub told me, carry on, he can see the baby's head already, baby has a full head of hair. And before i know it, Nessa arrived.

Time Born : 1802hrs
Length : 49cm
Weight : 3116gm

Totally in love with this cutie!

Hong Kong 2016

Our very long awaited trip!

Nellie first flight trip!

And its to Hong Kong!

I really thank God, Nellie was behaving awesomely throughout the whole flight! She ate, she drew, she slept and she also saw the magnificent view of the sky!

Just before the plane took off!

As much as she was in awe, so am i!

Because travelling with a toddler is not simple, hence, keeping her schedule as in tact as possible, we chose a flight that coincides with her nap time half way into flying and not too much disruption to it.

Arriving in Hong Kong, weather forecast was a little dampening as it reported that it could be raining over the next few days. And we arrived to a gloomy weather, but, it didn't spoil our days too far.

Upon checking in to the hotel, we set off to have our lunch!

The size of the hotel has nothing much to shout about, you just cant have 2 person standing at any 1 point in time, is a sure move to spark some argument as you sure will bump unto each other.

Nellie turned in pretty early that night, given that she is in a brand new place, on a brand new bed, in a brand new environment for the next few days


Day 2

We didnt want to visit Disneyland on a weekend and squeeze, clash with the Chinese Nationals as it so happen to be the golden week.

Thus, we headed for a must eat dim sum breakfast and Tao Hiang. The must do in Hong Kong. The food was only a 5/10 as some of the food didnt turn out to be fantastic. But nonetheless, its a must do in Hong Kong, hence, a tick off our list.

After breakfast, as we were contemplating to go back to hotel to let Nellie sleep, or to carry on with Shopping. We decided with the latter.

Lo and Behold, first shopping stop was Langham Place, not a place for families, nothing much to sweep off the shop for kids. Not even H & M, much less to speak about of their Uniqlo.

And right passed noon, we went to this Argly Center. It was decent place for people who are generally looking for cheap thrills and not going for anything branded.

The guys were rotting by some places, and while the ladies combed the whole building for clothes.

The guys also had a mouth watering cold noodle, not something i fancy, but the husband loves it! That he had to buy 3 packets to satisfy his needs on it.

And after that, back to hotel. Sean got us a packet of hand shredded chicken, it was awesome! Or probably we were too hungry to even think anything else, so we wiped out that 1 and a half chicken.

After that, as much as we were supposed to go for dinner, but Nellie was not putting the best behaviour and hence, we got confined to hotel, while the rest went out for dinner. Thankfully, dinner was nothing to shout about, and again, Nellie was tired, barely 8pm, she got knocked out. Thats partly a good news for me, as we get ready for our most anticipated highlight of the trip, DISNEYLAND!

Day 3

Morning, we went for a breakfast that i actually have no idea but it turns out to be pretty good, with very decent price.

But! After buying the single trip to Disneyland, i felt my breakfast was so much more worthwhile.
The price for a single ticket journey trip to Disneyland was 37 HKD, which was also exactly how much it cost for 1 person's breakfast. Heart bleed.

As we boarded the train to Disneyland, Nellie was tremendously thrilled!

Look at the window of the train, it was also in the shape of Mickey Mouse! That makes the little princess sooo excited! Everything on the train was a preview of what we saw inside.

Nellie couldnt contained her joy, beaming from ear to ear.

As we arrived at the entrance of Disneyland, Nellie went gaga over the characters.

Very quickly, to not further delay the trip, we went in! And man, it was huge!

The weather forecast reported thunder will be upon Hong Kong, but Thank God! The weather was more than just awesome, it was fantastic! Though i got burned.

Not to prolong the wait, Nellie saw the rides at Tomorrowland, and since it was not as scary, very quickly, we went to queue for our first ride! And Nellie was happy!

Very quickly, we moved on to a few more rides, and not forgetting to catch 4D theatre shows and a parade.

We ended the visit with a lunch, that was pretty much like a semi fine dining and some shopping of merchandise.

At the merchandise shop, Nellie really melted my heart. We asked if she wanted a mickey mouse bowl and the colour that she wanted, though i already expected she wanted yellow. And we asked if you wanna get one for your sister too.

without giving it 2nd thought, she insisted that we buy for Mei Mei too! And it must be same set as hers, except a different colour. I thought she would insist that its only for her or that mei mei is too small to use. But instead she insisted that we get for Mei Mei too. And when asked, if there is anything else that she wants to get, she plainly told us, no, its too expensive, all she wanted was just a mickey mouse biscuits. I was very wrenched. My little princess is sooo sensible.

We got what she wanted before making our way back. And then to a maggi mee shop for dinner.

And we called it a day.

Day 4 - Final Day

We didnt want to cramp pack the last day, hence, very much OTOT.

The rest wanted to venture out further, but we chose to stay in. So we went for a mouth watering breakfast. Dim Dim Sum, well raved by alot of people. And true to it, food was good, milk tea was even more awesome! Just as i am typing away, i totally missed it!

Then had some last minute shopping at the supermarket, again, Nellie insisted that she want to get some biscuits for her grandparents to share, My heart was once again very moved by the thoughts this little girl has.

And after which, we headed to airport to finish up some last minute shopping and back to Singapore!

This whole trip taught me a few precious thoughts.

When bringing toddler for overseas trip, dont over-do your itinerary, is not gonna do anyone good.

Go places that are attractive for them

And really, its a trip to purely just spend time with the kid alone.

Nellie was awesome! And darling, if you ever read this post, please know that mummy and daddy enjoyed your company and was so proud of you! Please grow up that way and be a blessing to people around you!

2nd Pregnancy

A very overdue post.

After hoping and praying for a pretty long time, we finally conceive our number 2.

The journey of carrying this little fella was nowhere near easy. When we first saw the 2 faint lines, i didnt want to carry my hopes too high, as it was so faint, you really could barely see it. We very quickly arrange for our appointment with Doc John and he confirmed the pregnancy.

I remember at somewhere between 4 to 5 weeks old, i started spotting. On the first day, i thought it could be just some early pregnancy symptoms . I still remember the first day was on a Wednesday.

On Thursday, while working in office, i started to bleed, a little more than the day before. I was hesitating if I should see doc as Doc John was not in town. Dropped the husband a text, and he wanted me to go in to the clinic immediately. I called the clinic, make an appointment with the stand-in Doc. Settled my work and took the rest of the day off. I took a cab down, feeling pretty nervous and fearful. When i arrived at the clinic, though there were few patients, the doc was nowhere fast nor urgent to see me. I waited for a close to 45 mins before seeing him.

He did an internal check, and mentioned that he could see the sac, but he could not detect the heartbeat of the baby, if i had given the dates correctly, the baby should be into the 6th week gestation. And by then, the heartbeat is formed.

He further check and saw the spot where i was bleeding, he gave me options, he will try to stop the bleeding, but in his opinion and years of experience, i was starting to miscarry this little precious one.

I was trying so hard to fight back my tears and keeping my composure at the same time. He offered me a few suggestions, either i do a D & C now or tomorrow, or to wait a couple more days and let Doc John examine me again. Meanwhile, he prescribed me some hormonal pills and send me back.

I went back with an extremely heavy heart, while in the cab, tears was almost rolling down my cheek. I didnt know what to do. It was an extremely painful time.

I didnt even had any appetite for lunch, and all i could do was to bawl my eyes out. Praying and asking why must it be me again.

I cried myself to sleep that afternoon.

I remember that night i stumbled about the husband phone's text with the MIL.

He texted her and kept her informed of the miscarriage and further warn them not to speak with me about the baby.

That night seemed so long.

I went to work on Fri and i was supposed to be in Malacca, celebrating the husband's birthday but we decided we should give it a miss. And we wanted to seek the 2nd opinion if we could keep the baby, hence, we waited for Doc John's return.

27 Jun 16

The day came, i was to return to the clinic to see doc John. We didnt even had any mood to even hold any celebration, our hearts were very heavy.

It was my turn to see Doc John. We went in, he did an internal test, he said he saw something flickering but he cant be sure as the ultrasound, could not picked the heartbeat. I was sent home with more hormonal pills and bedrest.

29 Jun

It was 2nd review for the week, to further confirm if the baby was doing well. And to our relief, he finally picked the heartbeat. And the pregnancy was still not stable but at least, we saw a glimpse of hope. We held on to the belief that this the miracle baby and he/she will survive.

Nellie's 3rd Birthday

It had been 3 years, filled with lots of ups and downs, filled with lots of laughters and tears.

My beloved princess is now 3 years old!

We held a simple celebration for Nellie with family and some close friends. Had a time of bbq and bought a simple agar agar cake for her through  Cake Story.

My heart is just so fill with love and gratitude from these people who showered unconditional love upon Nellie.

Nellie, if ever a day you get to stumble upon this post, please know that deep down in Daddy and Mummy's heart, we both love you loads. This past 3 years, you showed us how to enjoy life to the fullest. We may not the perfect parents, however, we are trying our best to provide the best that we know how. And we really pray that you will grow up to be a happy girl, always so filled with love, joy and peace!